Hope, or something like it.

It's been an interesting week. School and work are beating me up, I won't lie. Over all I enjoy life though. Things are pretty good. I watched Chitty Chitty Bang Bang for the first time in probably 14 years. I enjoyed it but I think that the people that made it must have been on drugs. Also the Child Catcher gave me the heebie-jeebies. I think I want to be a dad kind of like Caractacus Pots is in that movie. haha. Not that that is going to happen any time soon.

So everything is way good, but I won't lie. I have some serious heartache tonight. I'm going to be more straightforward than I normally am in these things.

I like this amazing girl. It's like she has me mesmerized. I really haven't been this twitterpated in as long as I can remember.

So the problem is that her heart was broken not too long ago. And now she says that she doesn't want a relationship. I think she's worried that I'll just end up hurting her later on. I can't even imagine doing that, but whatever.

Tonight I was sitting there with her and I really couldn't take it anymore. I looked over at her and straight-up asked her, "Do I have any sort of a chance with you?" haha, probably not the best way to go about such a thing, but whatever, I've always been the kind of guy to just say what I mean. She told me that she didn't want a relationship. Hearing, "No" is the worst feeling ever. I told her that I would wait, and I mean to. I don't know if it's hope or just a fool's wish to not let go, but I just don't give up easily.

Here's the worst part. I'm a big giant coward. Every time I see her I want to kiss her. But I don't.

So If you're reading this, know that you've stolen my heart. I wouldn't hurt you ever. I'll win you over somehow. I just hope you don't think this is creepy. I just had to get this out because it hurts.

Tomorrow when you see me, I'll be fine, I promise, but tonight I just wish I was brave enough to tell you to not be so dumb and just give me a chance.

So here's to hope, or whatever this is.

I want to go listen to these songs:

Come Around, by Sister Hazel
Hey Lady, by Thriving Ivory
Non Believer. by the Crash Kings
Killing Me Too, by Sister Hazel
My Skateboard, by the Aquabats
Sing Along, by the Blue Man Group Ft. Dave Matthews
The Space Between, by Dave Matthews
Friend is a Four-letter Word, by Cake
Sad Songs and Waltzes, by Cake
Girlshapedlovedrug by Gomez

There are others, but I can't think of them right now.

And then I'm going to play Mozart till I fall asleep.


Sorry this one is such a downer guys, I'll be better by tomorrow.